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Some Relationship Basics

Sometimes people forget the basics of a relationships.  A while ago I worked with a couple, where one of the dynamics going on was that the male in the relationship was doing things to purposefully annoy his girlfriend.  Things like turning up the music to loud, or switching channels on the television while she was watching a program.

A good rule of thumb might be to not do things to purposefully annoying your partner.  But sometimes things are not that simple.  Actually they are, but sometimes things get in the way of that.

The male in that relationship was bought up in a household where males annoy females.  Yes not the best environment! In effect he was relating to his girlfriend as he used to relate to his sister.  Once it clicked that his behaviour was not conducive to a healthy loving relationship he stopped his detrimental behaviour.

Sometimes things are indeed about […]

By |Tuesday, January 27th, 2015 |Categories: Psychology|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments

Huxley on Reality

“Prospero is here enunciating the doctrine of Maya. The world is an illusion, but it is an illusion which we must take seriously, because it is real as far as it goes, and in those aspects of the reality which we are capable of apprehending.

Our business is to wake up. We have to find ways in which to detect the whole of reality in the one illusory part which our self-centered consciousness permits us to see. We must not live thoughtlessly, taking our illusion for the complete reality, but at the same time we must not live too thoughtfully in the sense of trying to escape from the dream state. We must continually be on our watch for ways in which we may enlarge our consciousness. We must not attempt to live outside the world, which is given us, but we must somehow learn how to transform it and transfigure […]

By |Thursday, January 15th, 2015 |Categories: Psychology, Spiritual|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments

Happiness and Change

After working together for a couple of years, a client ‘suddenly’ stopped being cynical about life.  A high level of cynicism was one of the clients features for the period we working together.  But then one day he came into therapy and for all intents and purposes the cynicism had stopped.

It wasn’t that we specifically worked towards alleviating the cynicism or that there was any therapeutic intervention towards that end.  It was highlighted a few times during our sessions, but largely there were other issues that took prominence.  All up cynicism was on the back burner during our sessions.

There are times when change occurs without the need for a specific intervention in that area.  Over the years clients have often noticed that change has crept up on them without them immediately noticing it.

A way to understand this phenomena is to think of it as a tipping point.  When a person […]

By |Wednesday, January 14th, 2015 |Categories: Psychology, Spiritual|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments

Roasted Capsicum, Precognition and Dreams

Last night I dreamt of roasted capsicum.   It’s the kind I love to eat; smothered in olive oil with some garlic.   In my dream, I had red, green and yellow capsicums.   Symbolically, I took the dream to mean to do something nourishing for myself today.  Food can often (but not always) be representative of nourishment.

There is a lady across from me who I sometimes share some of my cooking with.  I bring her some of my food occasionally and vica versa.  Today she bought over some roasted capsicum.  The only thing missing was the yellow capsicum variety.

Still the precognition involved was rather eerie!

By |Tuesday, January 13th, 2015 |Categories: Psychology, Spiritual|Tags: , , , |0 Comments

When Taking a Break

Sometimes people go on ‘holidays’ and come back more stressed than when they left.  Sometimes this is due to bad luck or mismanagement, but other times it is because people have forgotten how to switch off and relax.

A part of being invested in such a technological rich culture is that as a society we have become always available.   Our mobile phones make us readily accessible 24/7.  The advent of the internet often means we are accessible no matter where we are in the world.   Our homes often have the tv on, where we are constantly being bombarded by messages.   It is no wonder people have such difficulty switching off.

Which is not to say that technology is a bad thing because it is not.  It can be a wonderful tool.  But often we unwittingly have become slaves to the technology rather than have the technology serve us.

It is important that we […]

By |Tuesday, January 6th, 2015 |Categories: Psychology|Tags: , , |0 Comments

We are Built to be Kind

Greed is good. War is inevitable. Whether in political theory or popular culture, human nature is often portrayed as selfish and power hungry. UC Berkeley psychologist Dacher Keltner challenges this notion of human nature and seeks to better understand why we evolved pro-social emotions like empathy, compassion and gratitude. Good video on the topic.

By |Monday, January 5th, 2015 |Categories: Psychology, Science|Tags: , , , |0 Comments

How Does A Homeless Man Spend $100?

This is one of those videos which speaks for itself.  Given the time of year I thought it would be a good one to share as its great demonstration of kindness and compassion.

By |Saturday, December 27th, 2014 |Categories: Multimedia, Psychology, Spiritual|Tags: , , , |Comments Off

Circular Arguments

Most of us have had arguments with people where it seems like the argument is not going any place.  It is the type of arguing that is circular in nature.   I once had a girlfriend who had a penchant for not being able to disengage from an argument.  It did not matter what I did, she would keep at me and at me.  To the point where if I went outside for a break she would follow me and continue on with the argument.

In a lovely twist of karma, I also have been the one that at times could not let the argument go.  I became a bit like that ex-girlfriend.  I just had to solve the problem here and now…

None of the above is particularly conducive to facilitating rewarding relationships.  In fact, it tends to build frustration and bitterness between people.   The arguments often feel like they have a […]

By |Friday, December 5th, 2014 |Categories: Psychology|Comments Off

How to Meditate ?

By |Wednesday, December 3rd, 2014 |Categories: Spiritual|Tags: , , , , |Comments Off

Physiological Cues and Precognition

If I were to ask you to predict which card would be chosen from 4 alternatives, chances are pretty good that you would be unable to correctly pinpoint which card would be selected.  However, there is a reasonable chance that your body may have a physiological reaction which can then be used to predict which card would be chosen.  The physiological reaction would occur anywhere up to 10 seconds before a conscious choice to select a card is made and the reaction is typically outside of conscious awareness.  These cues are minimal physiological signals that are typically difficult to perceive.

In short something about you ‘knows’ but it is not the conscious mind.  What may surprise people is just how much scientific evidence there is for precognitive phenomena, particular the type which occurs outside of conscious awareness.  I have provided a link below which I suggest people read and then follow […]

By |Tuesday, December 2nd, 2014 |Categories: Psychology, Science, Spiritual|Tags: , , , , , , |Comments Off