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Monday, September 1st, 2014

Be Kind Jar

By |Monday, September 1st, 2014 |Psychology, Spiritual|0 Comments

One way to use positive reinforcement to help children be kinder is to use a ‘Be Kind Jar’.  Essentially, it is the opposite of a swear jar where a person puts in a dollar or more for every time they swear.  Instead of negative reinforcement, we switch to positive reinforcement where children are rewarded when they perform a kind act.  It is a way of saying yes to our children in a manner that enhances their ability to be kind.

Kids, being kids will often try and game the system so we need to be careful in our implementation.   I was reminded of this recently by nephews.  My nephew Max made me a loom band.  It was a kind and thoughtful gesture on his behalf and I thought it would be nice to reward him for his thoughtfulness and kindness.   I gave him a few dollars so that he could […]

Sunday, August 31st, 2014

Reading Others as a Skill

By |Sunday, August 31st, 2014 |Psychology, Spiritual|0 Comments

People are incredibly predictable but like to think they are not.

Very few people are good at reading people but like to think they are.

That is the way of things for the vast majority of people.  There is typically a heavy confirmation bias effect occurring in both regards for most people.

The good news is that while there is some natural talent involved when reading people (not everyone is equal), it is a skill which can be learned and improved upon.  There is a lot of malleability in this regard and we can push ourselves much further than we think.

In order to become good or great at reading others we need to be able to read ourselves, particularly our inner world.  It should come as no surprise that the best readers of human behaviour also tend to have a good grasp of what is occurring internally.

As a starting point to enhance […]

Sunday, August 31st, 2014

Mountain High – Touching the Void with Bob Fergeson

By |Sunday, August 31st, 2014 |Spiritual|0 Comments

Photographer, mountaineer, and spiritual teacher Bob Fergeson shares his battle with alcoholism, the connection the creative life that saved him from his demons, and the spiritual life that ultimately led to his awakening. Set among the Rocky Mountains, Bob’s story and words of wisdom will inspire your life.  Follow the link below for more information on how to purchase the video.

http://mysticmissal.org/blog/?p=1221

Friday, August 29th, 2014

Death Shall Exist Forever

By |Friday, August 29th, 2014 |Spiritual|0 Comments

And soon I see, looking ahead, that all my joys are not, that all my love is not, that all my being is not.
And I see that all Knowing is not. And the eminent I-ness melts into the embraces of oblivion.
It melts into the embraces of oblivion like a charmed lover, fighting the spell and languishing into it.
And now I breathe Space and walk in Emptiness. My soul freezes in the void and my thoughts melt into an indestructible blackness.
My consciousness struggles voiceless to articulate and it screams into the abysses of itself. Yet there is no echo.
All that remains is All.
My spark of life falls through the canyons of the universe, and my soul cannot weep for its loss….for lamentation and sorrow are things apart.
All that remains is All.
The universes pass like a fitful vision.
The darkness and the void are part of the Unknowing….
Nothing is everywhere….
Death shall exist […]

Thursday, August 28th, 2014

Going

By |Thursday, August 28th, 2014 |Spiritual|0 Comments

Personal growth is like going from A to B.  Spiritual Awakening is like going from A to A.

Since you’re already at A, there is no technique, no teaching, and no pointing that can get you to A.

Accepting and embracing that you’re already at A is just a disguise for going from A to B.

Similarly, any attempt, which paradoxically includes non-attempts, are still efforts to get from A to B.

People want answers, solutions, paths, methods, techniques etc. to get from A to A while all the time they are travelling from A to B.

Of course there is never anything wrong with going from A to B while we wait for A to recognize it was never lost nor hidden in the first place.

Wednesday, August 27th, 2014

Trying to Control Others

By |Wednesday, August 27th, 2014 |Psychology, Spiritual|0 Comments

There is an article in one of today’s papers here in Melbourne Australia.  In it there is a self-proclaimed overweight person who likes to wear outfits that show off a lot of her skin.   Provided she is not breaking any laws, she should be able to wear what she likes irrespective of her weight .   Her weight or clothing or lack of them is not the issue I wish to raise here.

The difficulty with her mentality is that she asks people to not objectify her for what she wears and how she looks and then in the same article asks for people to tell her she is beautiful.   In the same vein, she asks people to (mostly) keep their comments to themselves but later asks for positive remarks in comments.  Her contradictions are many.

In the same article she also tells people to not stare and judge her.   She is […]

Tuesday, August 26th, 2014

Come Play with Me

By |Tuesday, August 26th, 2014 |Psychology|0 Comments

I tried to teach my child with books.

He gave me only puzzled looks.

I used clear words to discipline,

But I never seemed to win.

Despairingly, I turned aside.

“How shall I reach this child?” I cried.

Into my hand he put the key:

“Come,” he said, “Play with me.”

Author unknown (adapted by Aletha Solter)

Monday, August 25th, 2014

Three Common Responses to Life’s Difficulties

By |Monday, August 25th, 2014 |Psychology, Spiritual|0 Comments

When we are confronted with a powerful stimulus which pushes our buttons and we have not dealt with our inner demons, there are three typical responses:

  1. The most common response is to repeat the pattern.  An example would be growing up in a violent household and then later in life finding ourselves repeating the pattern – we may find that the stimulus pushes us into a pattern of anger.  It does not necessarily have to be an exact replication.  It could be that a person was bought up in a physically abusive environment but later in life they may replicate the pattern through verbal or financial abuse. The more unconscious we are of the underlying factors involved in the pattern, the more difficult it is to shift.
  2. Another common response is to go against the grain.  We might make a promise to never be like our parents and attempt to act […]
Monday, August 25th, 2014

The Blank State

By |Monday, August 25th, 2014 |Psychology|0 Comments

In this TED talk Steven Pinker argues that all humans are born with some innate traits which can vary from individual to individual.  His proposition that the the brain is not a blank state at birth upset many people.   In the video, Pinker talks about his thesis, and why some people found it incredibly upsetting.”

 

Sunday, August 24th, 2014

Waiting

By |Sunday, August 24th, 2014 |Psychology, Spiritual|0 Comments

People wait

All week for Friday,

All year for Summer,

All of life for Happiness.

Author ~ Unknown