All of the following are books which I have recommended to people in the hope they can get something out of them that is useful.  Though they are divided into specific sections, all of them should enable a better understanding of self.  There are definitely more books that could be added, but over reading on these subject matters is all too common place.  Definitely read, but just as importantly act and put into place what is learned in a practical way is my best advice.

Spiritual Enlightenment: The Damnedest Thing

By Jed McKenna

Perfect Brilliant Stillness

By David Carse

Dreamstate: A Conspiracy Theory

 By Jed McKenna

Dark Zen: A Guru On The Bayou

 By Bob Fergeson

The End of Your World: Uncensored Straight Talk on the Nature of Enlightenment

 By Adyashanti

The Collected Works of Sri Ramana Maharshi

By Sri Ramana Maharshi

Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships

By David Schnarch

After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful

By Janis. A. Spring

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert

By John Gottman

The Dance of Anger / The Dance of Intimacy / The Dance of Deception

By Harriet Lerner

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

By Sue Johnson

Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples

By Harville Hendrix